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Awakening the Goddess: A Journey into Female Arousal

Awakening the Goddess: A Journey into Female Arousal

May 16, 20246 min read

As I immersed myself in Naomi Wolf's enlightening book, "Vagina: A New Biography," a myriad of emotions and physiological responses coursed through me. From the initial sigh of relief at the profound insights into female anatomy and the unique nuances of pleasure experienced by different women, to the exhilaration sparked by the exploration of spiritual and sexual practices rooted in Tantra and Taoism, merged with scientific inquiry.

Yet, amidst the fascination, there was also a palpable tension and disgust as I confirmed my obvious theories on the reality of sexual violence as a tool of disempowerment. This recognition was coupled with an acknowledgement of how societal influences, including the pervasive impact of pornography and certain religious teachings, have contributed to the degradation of a once-sacred aspect of womanhood—the very essence of femininity that we have forgotten to honor and revere.

In my view, "Vagina” is essential reading for every woman seeking to reclaim ownership of her body and her pleasure, and for every man who seeks to honor and nurture the full spectrum of female sexual potential. In hetero relationships particularly, understanding and embracing the depths of female arousal and satisfaction isn't just a luxury—it's a necessity for fostering a heightened level of intimacy and connection.

Vagina - A conversation for Men, with Fabiola Perez

Ladies, If you aim to enlighten your partner about the most important practices for awakening the goddess within, suggest them to listen to "Vagina: A Conversation for Men" by Fabiola Perez & Rev. Hans Peter Mayer.

I'd be delighted to share some valuable insights I discovered in this book, Including 6 Intimacy Practices to Awaken the Goddess Within in a relationship:

The Autonomic Sense Nervous System: A Gateway to Safety and Relaxation

The autonomic nervous system is at the core of female arousal, a finely tuned network that regulates responses to stress and relaxation. When a woman feels safe and relaxed, her body opens up to the possibilities of pleasure. It's in this state that the magic begins to happen—a cascade of neurotransmitters including dopamine, opioids, and oxytocin flood the brain, paving the way for a symphony of sensations that extend far beyond the confines of the bedroom.

The Power of Pleasure: A Catalyst for Transformation

Contrary to outdated beliefs, good sex isn't just about physical satisfaction—it's a catalyst for profound transformation. Studies have shown that women who experience fulfilling sexual encounters are more assertive, successful, confident, and creative in all aspects of their lives. This isn't merely coincidence but rather a testament to the deep-seated connection between sexual pleasure and personal empowerment.

Beyond the Physical: The Mind-Heart-Body Connection

For too long, men have been taught to view vaginas as nothing more than sexual organs. But the truth is far more nuanced, tantric and Taoist practitioners have known about them for centuries. Female orgasm is a holistic experience that involves the intricate dance between mind, heart, and body—a journey towards oneness that transcends conscious control. Each woman's body is unique, with its own pathways to pleasure—from blended orgasms that ignite both the clitoris and G-spot to the elusive cervical orgasms that release a surge of oxytocin, fostering not only intimacy and love but a doorway to awakening. 

6 Intimacy Practices to Awaken the Goddess Within in a relationship:

If you are a woman lover, this practices are for you! But, how does one unlock the full potential of the goddess? The answer lies in the art of connection—in the subtle gestures and intimate moments that awaken her deepest desires.

1. Hug, cuddle, snuggle Her:

Embrace her with the warmth of your presence, let her find in your arms solace and safety. The scent of your skin, unique to your DNA, lowers her stress levels, awakening happy hormones!

2. Eye Gazing: 

Peer into her soul through the windows of her eyes. In the dilation of her pupils, witness her arousal, her desire for intimacy. Let your gaze linger, in this shared moment, bonds are strengthened, and passions ignited. 

Hey, this is not only a practice of courtship!

3. Communication & Touch:

Listen to her words with presence (please, put your phone on a side), and let yours soothe her. When you create a space for open, honest conversation, intimacy flourishes. As you communicate, a gentle touch can work wonders; couples therapist attest that this gentle action lowers fights and reduces argument time.

4. Acknowledgement:

Tell her she is Beautiful, as often as you can! This banishes thoughts of comparison, and inadequacy, or simply busts her radiance. Most women want to feel desired by their partners, and not only physically but as a whole.

If they feel their partner is more attracted to someone else, they can't fully relax. Plus, the use of pornography or imagery can negatively impact a woman's arousal.

5. Sexual exploration:

 Explore every inch of her being with reverence and curiosity.

Pay homage to her nipples, according to Taoist practices, their stimulation lies the key to opening her meridians of pleasure, creating an overflow of chi (energy) and body fluids! 

Find their Scared Spot (G-spot) and stay. With permission and with the opening of you/her Yoni, insert your fingers (one or two) to go inside the vagina and head up toward the clitoral area from the inside. The position may vary, but you can usually find it 1-2 inches in the frontal wall, it feels like a little sponge. Curling the fingers and making a “come here” motion is a great way to stimulate, do it slowly and STAY, practice patience and presence. :) 

6. Change things up:

Or as Wolf says “Don't be boring!”: Hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle shift dynamics: during ovulation, women are drawn to qualities associated with higher testosterone levels—risk-taking and unpredictability. Conversely, during other phases, the appeal tilts towards nurturing, safety, and reliability.

Isn't the body fascinating?

Grant yourself the opportunity to cultivate presence during this practice, and you unlock the potential to guide your partner into transcendental states of consciousness! 

A cautionary note:

I feel compelled to offer a cautionary note regarding this book published in 2012. Naomi Wolf's writes with admiration about a figure named Mike Lousada. Upon reading passages like, "Does he ever have intercourse with his clients? - I don't generally have intercourse with my clients unless it's extremely therapeutic" (p.262), I ran to search for him on google, and of course, recent developments, as of April 2024, have revealed accusations of sexual assault against Lousada. 

While practices like Sacred Spot massage can indeed be therapeutic, it's crucial to emphasize that no professional practitioner should never use their sexual organs to penetrate others in the name of healing or enlightenment. Such actions cross ethical boundaries and can lead to harm rather than healing. Vigilance and discernment are paramount when navigating discussions around sexuality and therapy.

If you're ready to step into intimacy and use Tantra & Sacred Sexuality as a path to consciousness and sacred union. Sign up for the newsletter to be the first to know when the next event is happening near you!

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Fabiola Perez, Therapist, Doula, Yogini

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I would like to honor & acknowledge that I am a settler on the traditional, ancestral and unceded territory of the Coast Salish peoples–Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), Stó:lō and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) and xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam) Nations. - All Rights Reserved - PRIVACY POLICY - Terms & Conditions